So, porn.
Obviously not just for the fellas. But "they" say that men are visual and women are, well, something--aural? emotional? wordy? Women like erotica, not porn?
It does seem that men like their none-too-secret stashes of visuals (magazines/photos/internet downloads). True to stereotype, I don't dig this stuff at all--put it right up in my face, and nothing happens except that I might have a sudden craving for bangers-and-mash--I do, though, love naughty drawings (R. Crumb anyone? Tijuana Bibles?). I'm not sure why.
Also true to stereotype, I like "emotional" porn--as I've said before, I love heavy-duty home-made fan fic, of the boy-on-boy variety (girl/boy is fine too). But it needs a story line: character development that makes the payoff believable. I'm perfectly willing to read through several chapters of plot and character before anyone even makes it to to the hem of a skirt. However, unlike a pretty princess, I draw the line at men who are sensitive with nothing else to recommend them. I need not elaborate, for anyone who has ever visited my bloggish ramblings knows too well my at this point tedious penchant for men with icy demeanors and misleadingly prudish Victorian frock-coats.
Literature can be lovely too--ironically, one of the best erotic passages ever was written by a man, James Joyce in "Ulysses":
"Glowing wine on his palate lingered swallowed. Crushing in the winepress grapes of Burgundy. Sun's heat it is. Seems to a secret touch telling me memory. Touched his sense moistened remembered. Hidden under wild ferns on Howth below us bay sleeping: sky. No sound. The sky. The bay purple by the Lion's head. Green by Drumleck. Yellowgreen towards Sutton. Fields of undersea, the lines faint brown in grass, buried cities. Pillowed on my coat she had her hair, earwigs in the heather scrub my hand under her nape, you'll toss me all. O wonder! Coolsoft with ointments her hand touched me, caressed: her eyes upon me did not turn away. Ravished over her I lay, full lips full open, kissed her mouth. Yum. Softly she gave me in my mouth the seedcake warm and chewed. Mawkish pulp her mouth had mumbled sweetsour of her spittle. Joy: I ate it: joy. Young life, her lips that gave me pouting. Soft warm sticky gumjelly lips. Flowers her eyes were, take me, willing eyes. Pebbles fell. She lay still. A goat. No-one. High on Ben Howth rhododendrons a nannygoat walking surefooted, dropping currants. Screened under ferns she laughed warmfolded. Wildly I lay on her, kissed her: eyes, her lips, her stretched neck beating, woman's breasts full in her blouse of nun's veiling, fat nipples upright. Hot I tongued her. She kissed me. I was kissed. All yielding she tossed my hair. Kissed, she kissed me."
Yes, it's quite a book. Erotica, not porn. For the ladies (?), written by a man. I'll never, for better or for worse, be free of that image of sharing chewed cake, mouth to mouth.
Obviously, sexuality is complex and individual. I sort of hate to say that I fit the stereotype more than I don't. So what do you think? Does it hold up? Or do some of the gents like a plot and character build-up, erotica, James Joyce, suggestiveness not always followed up by action, and do some of the ladies like centerfolds, Cinemax After Dark, right to the point?
23 comments:
Dude, that got me hot! I've never read that before but I'll be reading it again. And again.
I guess I'm a stereo-type too. I don't like the stuff all in my face but unlike you I don't want bangers and mash after I see it, I want an Alka-Seltzer. Yuck!
I'm definitely more into erotica...that hint of what could or will be gets me every time. I don't want it spilling all over the place or stuck up my nose. I like the teasing part, and what is left up to the imagination. Maybe that means women (or men who are like women) have more imagination then do those filled to brim with testosterone?
Just a theory. Great post!!
In your face is not my favorite either. I much prefer Erotica. Secret turn on: listening to porn over watching it. The sound of others being turned on is a big turn on.
Happy Blog Comments Day!
I have to say that I am Not a fan of porn. My husband downloaded me some soft core porn...Didn't do a damn thing for me. The only thing I'll admit to that does something for me is Nora Roberts Mystery series. It gets erotic.
Random--I do like to think we have more imagination.
Dijea--that is verrry interesting! And makes sense--again, it's all about imagination.
Brandy Rose--I've never read Nora Roberts, but have heard it's really fun.
I think I might be in the minority when it comes to guys but I have never really been into porn. Sure I have watched it but it just doesn't do much for me. I guess I like the erotica. Does this mean I am a lady?
No, Mr. Shife. It just means that you are a discerning man.
His lips lightly brush against hers. She can feel the warmth of his breath on her face. Her thighs ache with antisipation. Her heart begins to race. Softly he careess her breast, tickling them ever so slightly with his tounge. Slowly his mouth travels down her body sending shivers of rippling joy through her body. Gently he parts her legs and silently slips his warm soft toung inside her. He chuckles softly as she moans in pleasure.......
Now that, my dear Cece, is some fine pretty princess porn!
I think we may have to set up a cottage industry at the Wild Onion Cafe--you in?
Sadly enough, that trash is what came out of the tip of my brain as I sat here thinking up a comment for this post. I think I have been watching too much Cinemax After Dark! As for the cottage industry at The Onion? Count me in!!!
Nice, Leah. When you describe it's just nice and fun. Guess I been looking at porn through masculine eyes all this time. Great post!
Best wishes,
Skeeter
Outstanding!!! I have read Ulysses, but not all of it, however, I am familiar with the page(s) you quoted and and agree with RC, "I'M HOT!!!" Thank you. Thank you very much! Wow weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Like so many of your readers I'm not the in your face sorta girl. I prefer erotica. Subtext. Nuance. I love the dance before the dandy. It's what makes the dandy so beautiful. And also what makes me scream!!! Been known to cry too. Yes, that intense. And I love words. James Joyce always kills me, but I'm going to have to buy me some Nora Roberts tomorrow and just read the really, really good chapters!!!!
Mr. Shife ~ No, it just means you're sexy!
I'm with Cece, count me in at the Wild Onion.
Hi all my dear friends!
XO
Leah, great post. I'll be back to read James Joyce again. And again.
And again. ;)
I've been thinking about this and I think you're right.
A blogging world example - I visit the blogs of a couple who have been together 14 years. I went off him for a while because of the boob shots, but never was bothered by her pin-ups. The revealed assets are the same, but the subtle differences are quite profound, really.
It's interesting.
"But "they" say that men are visual..."
Ah, yep. I believe that this is why Victoria's Secret and the lingerie business is so huge. It supports very well that men (me for sure), enjoy an attractive package, with promises of special treats as the package is unwrapped. The unwrapping should be done slowly as to make the interaction last for a long time.
Notice the materials used in lingerie? Nothing feels as amazing as a women's body wrapped in lace. I like red.
Hi Skeeter! It is nice and fun, even when it's not nice!
Suzanne--we'll compare notes on the Norah Roberts!
Megan--that's interesting. I've come to tolerate and even accept the male version of a turn-on. I guess men and women have to meet at the half-way point...or somethin'...
CSI--I wonder if I could get Alan Rickman into some red lace...just kidding! re: the lingerie, I think women like to dress up too sometimes. For men, it's the tactile and visual and for women it's a fantasy--the best of both worlds!
Although once I donned a rather elaborate corset-bustiere thingy in black lace and blue ribbon and Sarge's response was: "...that looks kinda uncomfortable..." and I don't think he was trying to get it off me, I think he just thought it looked uncomfortable!!!!!!
Is that TMI?
I think he wanted you to take it off!
Leah, I just noticed your photo changed. Your glasses are off!!! Can you still see girl?
Did you get your Nora yet? I haven't, but will. I think we're going to have a whole hell of a lot of fun with her! Or perhaps just with ourselves. ;)
Love the comments. Brian and red lace. Who knew? I once bought a very expensive French Maid outfit at V.S. and put it on for Rob. He seemed COMPLETELY unimpressed. I was very tan and fit back then. He just wanted the damn thing off so he could lick me from head to toe!!! Nothing wrong with that! Someone at Good Will got a hell of a bargin. I think Megan is right, your hubby just wanted that damn thing off.
XO
Suzanne--I can't see at all! I think I'll have to put my glasses back on soon...
That's funny about the French Maid's outfit. But I do still think those things can be so much fun to wear!
I used to dig porn but now I have to agree with you. I would much rather watch erotic situations that are believeable and with some romance. I know I know not what a guy typically wants but I've seen the rest. I'd like to see more movies for couples not just for men. When you think of it if a man watches a good eroctic movie with his woman his chances of getting a little somthing greatly increase. JMHO
Wow. very hot. I may pick up that book now...
I'm much more into reading than looking. Erotica, if done right, is incredibly stimulating. I dont like the vulgar, in your face stuff at all. I like to be able to use my imagination, and fantasize about it more than having it shoved all up in my grill, ya know? LOL.
Anyway, it's nice to formally meetcha, I've seen you at the Wild Onion. You seem really cool, and you write beautifully.
Hi Karen! Happy to meet you too! This is my secondary "secret" blog--check out The Weather in the Streets for my regular blogging action!
I'm not going to give you the old sensitive male answer about romance and junk like that. How many years of sexual chemistry did X-files go on for? just shag already.
I like weemen, alsorts of weemen but not just any woman. I find many images that are supposed to be sexy not sexy, the tall leggy blonde with a tan just doesn't do it for me and Brittany has always been a minger.
I like weemen's bodies but if they go and spoil it by saying something shallow and stupid then I'm outta there no matter how hot.
Victoria's secret is puking after meals and duct tape not very sexy. Sexy is attitude, a fat lass can be sexy if she has the tude.
He had me at "fat nipples upright."
Hi Leah. I am emotional and a good storyline tends to turn me on much faster than the actual steamy scene. Most men I know prefer visual stimulation so I have yet to come across a man for whom suggestiveness is as powerful.
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